To say I'm stressed is an understatement :) we are still adjusting to life as a family of 9 for the year. Katya is still adjusting to being a part of our family and family life in general. She's doing great but of course there are bumps and pot holes in our paths. Navigating them sometimes overwhelms me and I have to cry and whine and just vent all my frustrations out. I'm not going to lie adopting from an orphanage is HARD. Our children have not had "normal" lives before they were ours. They didn't have a family to rock them as babies, no toys to play with, pretty much everything we as Americans grow up experiencing they didn't. Even the things we consider normal and routine are new and strange to them like washing their hands, brushing their teeth, changing clothes everyday, actually playing with toys!
Finding our new normal this time has been rough on me, I'm tired and get overwhelmed easily. It's a good thing Jared is the opposite of me and is super laid back. A lot of times I feel inadequate and like a failure because I feel guilty that the house is a mess or guilty I can't spend all my extra time (pretty much non existent) just doing fun things with my kids because we have dr appts, therapy stuff to do, home school for Katya and Pasha, grocery shopping, laundry, dusting, cooking, changing diapers, researching medical things, reading about attachment and trauma, school things for the others and just life in general. Not to mention trying to squeeze in time for Jared and I to be alone and just relax. I feel pulled in 5 million directions and bad that I'm not doing a better job at all this multitasking.
I try to remind myself this season is just that a season. Someday it will feel "normal" again here.....someday.