Oops...A Father's Perspective

First of all this is Jared, Crystal's husband, and I screwed up.  Yes, I can admit it and I know Crystal loves seeing it in print.  I had 100 post cards made up to mail out to the wealthiest neighborhood in Texas regarding our adoption.  I put our Reece's FSP site on there as well as the blog address.  Our oldest daughter and I addressed them all and was going to send them out the next morning when my wife noticed I had our Reece's site wrong.  I forgot a back slash in the address so it wouldn't work.  So if one of you reading this received one of those post cards it was my screw up, and I corrected it the best I could but I understand it did not look very professional once I did that.  To my wife....enjoy it while you can, because you know I rarely mess up (yes, I know I will pay for that one later).

I thought it would be a good idea for me to put into words my thoughts on this adoption.  So here it goes.  Having two teenage girls in the house at once (the moat is being dug as we speak), two boys that are full of energy (buying stock in 5 hour energy), and one baby girl that is a drama queen (rogaine is on order).  I must be losing my mind.  Well, don't worry, I lost my mind many years ago; I think it left with my hair.  Everyone knows my wife's love of children so I am constantly asked how I feel about this or if I just go along because I know my place.  The truth is I was actually the driving force on us adopting Masha.  Why?  She's stubborn, she is stuck in her ways, strong willed, schedule oriented, opinionated, and feels like she is on her own.  Many of you are thinking 'what are you thinking, why, these are not good reasons'.  What many people don't know is she reminded me of me.  None of my current kids will ever look like me (unless they have premature balding) or act like me (their mama is thankful for that), but she acts like me, and she has the same attitude I had growing up, 'The world is stacked against me and I don't care I am going to beat the world.'  Masha is a fighter, and she feels like the only person she can count on is herself; this is how I felt growing up as well, and I want to be the one person in her corner, because I see that same ambition in her that I had, and that same drive.  Plus she's is really fun to pick on, because she fires right back.

In regards to "Leonid" (aka Grayson...poor kid already has a million names) from what I have heard about him from other families he is full of life.  He has spina bifida but he doesn't let that stop him.  It sounds like he has the personality of my youngest boy and my rugged good looks (from what family members have told me his picture looks a lot like me when I was that age).  I do not feel sorry for him which I know several people think that is why we are adopting him.  Guess what?  It's not.  Life sucks, circumstances suck, but it is what we do with that life and those circumstances, and from what I have heard about this little boy he is not letting his current life and circumstances define who he is and let him get down about his situation.  That is why I, personally, am drawn to him.  He has managed to let his personality thrive and his attitude to be great in such a harsh environment.  Imagine what he could do in a good environment with the medical attention he needs?  This child can achieve anything he wants, and I would be proud to call that child my son, and be there for him when those dark days do come, because they will, and he will question things later on, but I know by looking at him he is strong, and with the love of a family he can overcome anything.

So do I sound selfish in why I want these two kids?  Yeah, I guess I do, in fact, I sound like any couple that is pregnant.  See, my wife and I will never experience that together.  We had all these plans when we got married, and we had a timeline for how we were going to build this family.  Guess what?  God thought our plans were funny, so he changed them in the matter of a few months.  I can joke about it now, but at the time it was really hard on both of us.  We had completed one domestic adoption at that point, and so it eased our pain knowing that just because this medical thing happened doesn't mean we can't build our family.  We just needed to build it another way, and this time we were going to listen to the plan God had for us instead of the plan we had (last time when it was our plan Crystal went under the knife; I do not want to go under the knife, so I am going to listen).  All of these kids are my kids.  Ashlyn is my step daughter, but no one will ever hear me introduce her as such, because she is my own; I have raised her, I have sat in her room until she fell asleep because she was scared, I have been there to pick her up.  Kaeden is adopted, but he is mine (he likes Michigan and the Texans, he has to be mine).  Savannah is mine, okay maybe she is more Crystal's with the drama queen; I'm joking, I am in so much trouble over this.  The thing I am trying to point out is that it doesn't take DNA to make a parent, watch the news and that is evident.  I take great pride in saying Ashlyn chose me, because unless she was on board we were not going to marry, Kaeden's birth mom and Savannah's birth mom chose us out of many families, Masha has chosen us, and Grayson...well he has no choice, but he would choose us because we are that great...lol.  Point is our family has not been built traditionally, someone else has always had a choice in the children added whether it was themselves or other people and the same thing has always been constant.  WE WERE CHOSEN.

Take this for what you will, but make no mistake that I want my kids home and will do whatever it takes to get them home.  Their place is here with me, Crystal, and their brother and sisters; not in an orphanage or institution.