Paper Pregnancy is a real thing....

For those who have never had a physical pregnancy let me just tell you not all pregnancies are created equal, the same goes for paper pregnancies! My actually pregnancy was a hard one, I had morning sickness all day and night for a few months and even lost weight in the early months. Then Ashlyn got bigger she would kick me so hard I would yell out loud in pain and the last few weeks I could barely walk it hurt so bad. I was tiny back then and she was pretty big, the first and second trimester my doctor thought I was going to have to have a c-section at about 36 weeks because my uterus was extremely small...but I carried her to 39 weeks and delivered all 8lbs 3oz of her naturally! My two other paper pregnancies have been super easy too, we were chosen very quickly by birth moms very quickly after our home studies and both times they were due very soon after choosing us. This time is completely different on so many levels I cannot even begin to describe it. I am so emotional and hormonal its crazy. I tear up several times a day at everything! Thiking of my two kids overseas waiting...tears, a family is traveling to go meet their kids...tears, a family is struggling to fundraise...tears, Savannah stands up by herself w/o support...tears, Kaeden speaks in 5 word sentences...tears ok you get the idea!!! Well I cried in the social security office today because they would not let me apply for one for Savannah. I took her shot record and her adoption decree just like I did with Kaeden and they said I needed a birth certificate. Well I dont have it yet, it may be several months before I do. Whats the big deal? We need a birth certificate or social security number for her to finish our home study for the adoption. That and our background checks are all our social worker needs so of course this is delaying me getting to my children who need to be home. I just felt defeated and depressed so I cried. Other adoptive parents will understand me about this and the nightmare that accompanies home studies and dossiers, they really are ridiculously crazy.I just want to get all the paperwork done so I can focus on saving money and fundraising to complete our family. We still are not on new commitments on Reece's Rainbow so I still cant announce who our new son is yet but hopefully soon:) We have a 31 fundraiser starting October 1st and a yard sale planned for October 5th and 6th, a car wash Im trying to put together for the 13th and a poker tournament that night so I'm just trying to focus on what I can control and do to move things along in this process and attempting to give the rest to God. I'm not very good at that though! I'm a worrier by nature. As I am sitting here I am looking at a picture of Ashlyn and Masha from this summer at the beach and I know all of this will be worth it when they are home!